A N D S O

I think it's been awhile since I talked to you.
For that I apologize.

I explain:

I got a job at Michael's Craft Store.

I am a cashier. I do not count anything. I like the kids that aren't bad. I make money.

I'm moving.

Ty and I have been living in a poor excuse for a house. (But it was ours which, in the end, was all that mattered). We're moving, signed the papers today, and should be in within the next few days. It's a great apartment, water and power included in the rent. Two roommates at the moment. Clean, new, DISHWASHER. It's great.

I haven't done NaNoWriMo. (Or MAT99, for that matter). I get stressed sometimes thinking about anything, because I have this sinking feeling something should be wrong. There's all these people around me telling me that I should just give up, go home, school is too hard, I won't make enough money, I won't be able to have a future. And I get stressed, and I cry, and I sleep and I don't think or realize the truth: Everything is okay.

I make minimum wage. I live in student housing. I go to a shitty university. I don't write everyday.

I eat, daily, a lot. I'm living on my own, at eighteen (at fifteen). I'm in COLLEGE. I AM a writer. I'm happy that I'm doing these things. I am doing what I want to be doing with my life, and the joy and fulfillment I get from doing so can only be judged by me.

I was living in a shitty house, now I'm not. I didn't have a job, now I do. I wasn't doing well in school, I figured it out. I'm overcoming the trials of life and if I wasn't, then I wouldn't get the satisfaction that I do from it.


tl;dr:
I'm happy because my life is hard and I can deal with it. Shut up, & thank you for caring. <3 <3

N O S T R E S S

Things I've learned about college:

• Go
• take notes
• talk to teachers
• know what you can handle
• tell people what you can handle
• demand the best
• (you ARE paying for it)
• don't waste time/money
• and always do what you enjoy (why you're in college in the first place.)

Here's the thing guys. You do not need college. College doesn't want you to know that. Your parents likely don't want you to know that. Society wants us to believe we need it to succeed, and because it's accepted as fact jobs are going to expect it because they can.

You are there paying for a piece of paper that says you chose to make your life more difficult, put in effort, and pay lots of money to have whatever career you're perusing. That's why it's impressive. That's what's setting you apart from everyone else.

But for you personally, college isn't anything that you don't make it. Make it an opportunity to push yourself, to do things you haven't done before. To learn, not because you have to, not because of your parents, but because it matters to be able to articulate intelligent thoughts with your peers. We are as enlightened as we choose to be. College is your chance to marvel at something. If you're marveling at a professor, or art, or the realization that you're ready to choose a career, it's there for you to do that.

___________________________________________________

"You don't have to be in college to play beer pong," John Green.

___________________________________________________

If you decide that you're there for yourself, for some greater purpose than pleasing your family, or anyone else for that matter. If you're there of your own choosing, for your future, but for your present too, then college is for you.

And I'm only saying this because today in math class I knew that college was for me. Even though I haven't a clue what is going on in there, I'm challenging myself. I'm going to get through it. Because college isn't worth stressing over, you don't have to pay a university to hate your life, you really could do that for free. College should make you happy. And if it doesn't, then it's really simple to leave. 

N E W S C H E D U L E

S L E E P I N G W I TH F O N D U E

WANTED: sponsor for budding writer and journalist. Must have money. Needed, someone to afford trips to other countries (for inspiration), schooling (for learning), and supplies (like pasta and sushi). Apply below.

I guess Daniel Bitch and I are similar. Because I get up too early for classes too. But, it's SO much better than the alternative.

Tydee is still asleep. And I want to wake him up and make him kiss me and be sweet. But, I can't describe accurately how adorable he is when he's sleeping. It's like, I don't even, it's like chocolate fondue and puppies.

The paper comes out today. (TUES&THURS) Last time, I was page ten, this time page three.

Page one is in sight. I get a lot of stories. And Sam said I'm the most reliable. That makes me happy. I have a lot to do. I'm so scared I'll forget to do something. AH. College is stress.

Somehow I'm going to junior college now. 2 years, yessir.

• FIREWATCH, summer job. I've always been good at not catching on fire or blowing up. It's basically my calling.
• FARMER, sellin' produce. Makin cash money.

I'm sorry, do other people have plans? I'm just catching myself before I fall, landing in whatever this is. I'm going to college. Regardless. Somewhere.

W U T H A P P N' D