C R U E L A N D R O Y A L

When people talk to Meghan I get confused. I hear her voice with someone else's and really don't understand what interaction they could willingly be having. So I look at them. And everytime I look at Meghan I have the same face. O_OWTF. So I really hope the person who has ufortunately begun to speak to her doesn't think that I'm looking at them that way, as I probably have a face close to normal when I look at them under different circumstances. However, the aforementioned instance happened moments ago when I heard Sarah speak back to Meghan about something she was wearing. One, Wow, Meghan isn't talking about anime! Two, Well, she's still saying something dumb, I'm sure. And Three, Meghan carries one of those shiny, sequined purses that were cool in like eighth grade--wears a down coat all year--wears her clear prom shoes or white tennis shoes or some sort of unfortuate black boots everyday--and above all knows nothing about fashion (not that I do, but Sarah is arguably the most adorably dressed female I've ever met.) So, unlike Sunshine who is running for prom queen with the motto of: "Because I won't be mean!" I carry a motto of, "Vote for me, because we like each other." Not because everyone likes me, or I like everyone--either. Just because I think there is a fewer number of people that don't. And that makes sense. I think it abnormal and weird to like and be liked by everyone. I think it makes far more sense to dislike at least a small group of people. But, I'm a little concerned, because as I've allowed myself to take people for what they really are and not look for the best in them, rather look for what they are capable of doing and how they could affect me in a negative or positive way--I've noticed most people are dumb, affect me in a negative or neutral way, or are just annoying, which could be argued as negative, I suppose. (Run-on away!) So, I'm worried, because I'm finding it hard to find people that don't bother me. IE, Daniel. I kept seeing him change this year, which I guess we all have. I kept seeing him get harder and harder and be considered mean by a lot of people. Well, in some ways so have I. This year has been a toughie for me, alot of people have done what alot of people have always done to me--walk all over me. And I'm sick of it. I'm not excusing Daniel being a bully to Nick Fountain or being mean to Hollye--but I can almost admire how much he's speaking his mind and following what he believes. Even if it is destructive to his friendships. The thing is, Daniel isn't liked anymore. I like him, he doesn't annoy me. He doesn't hurt my feelings when he says things about my hair or my clothes anymore. Because he's honest. He's not going behind my back and saying he doesn't like me or anything. He's not choosing side and he's not starting drama. He's alone. And the year is coming to an end and I think it makes sense to distance ourselves from people. But for now, I think we need eachother. Later he may decide he doesn't like me. Which is understandable. I know how simple it is to find that you don't like someone. I think that makes sense. So I'm finding all these things, and I'm worried that maybe I won't have any friends, but--if friends aren't someone you respect, or understand, or could live with, I don't think they're really necessary. So if I don't win prom queen, it would make sense. Because I will be mean. I will tell people that I don't like them, that they're annoying, or that I don't want to be around them. And people will tell me that I'm dumb, speak down to me, call me names or whathaveyou. But, I won't always stick around and listen. But, to those few people that aren't annoying--I need them. Because they're all that makes me believe in the humane sanity of the world.