C R I C K E T S A R E G E R M A N

"Your hair is like Germany."
"Cricket...I don't think Bears can kiss Crickets. I think that's just eating."
TYDEE: I need some caulk to fill these cracks."
ME: WUT
TYDEE: CAUUULLKKK
ME: pft
"Why do you have so much feta cheese on your sandwich? That's just a feta sandwich with ham."

"You're really mean when you sleep, I think I'm bruised."